In 1988, one month before my 24th birthday, I eagerly headed off to Japan to teach English at a Tokyo University. As is the case with many expatriates, my journey was less about working as a teacher (I had zero training), and more about fulfilling longings that couldn’t be addressed at home.
Longings, I had a bunch! I wanted to escape the routine of my post-college life, to have an epic adventure on the other side of the world, and to connect in spirit with my father—stationed in Japan during World War II—who had recently died.
Even more meaningful, perhaps, was my personal goal for my time abroad: I boldly decided I was going to write a novel.
My plotted-out strategy was straightforward. By the end of my two-year contract at J.F. Oberlin University, I would have a completed draft—working title: SHADES OF GREY (no relation to FIFTY). With that manuscript I’d secure a top literary agent who would place my bestseller-to-be with a prestigious New York publisher. From my late twenties on, I would make my living as a novelist. I would BE a novelist.
I never made a back-up plan.
If a famous clairvoyant had appeared in my 200-square-foot Tokyo apartment in the late eighties and predicted that, yes, I would sell a novel…but it would take 33 years, what would I have done with that information?
What would my reaction have been if I knew that my biggest life ambition would not be realized until I was 57, had been married for 24 years, was a mother to two young adults, my oldest child the age when I decided to start writing in earnest? What if I knew in advance that I’d work for much of my adult life as a teacher and a freelance writer, as I continued to chase my novel dream, often wondering if the whole thing was futile?
If some clairvoyant had foretold the commitment, the pain, the rejections, the buckets I’d fill with tears in those decades between dream and dream-come-true, I suspect I would have said no thank you. I’m not up for what you’re describing. I probably would have gone into advertising. And it would have been a big mistake.
On the cusp of 2022, we are living in a moment when dreams are being put on hold. So many businesses have shuttered; others can’t launch. (And what is a business, if not someone’s dream?) Colleges are veering back to online learning. Young adults can’t pursue the grand adventures they’ve been yearning for, at home or abroad. We’re all trying to make magic and connections happen behind our computer screens and expression–muting masks. Dreams are not having their finest moment right now.
And I’m here to tell you this: Keep dreaming.
If you want it, and you’re willing to work tirelessly, face rejection, and keep going (and going and going), it will be yours. It might not happen on the timeline you’d like. In fact, it very likely won’t. The universe has its own plan. But that doesn’t mean it won’t happen.
Take it from a dream long-hauler.
If you’re struggling to get started, my suggestion is to start by visualizing your dream. Then plant it so deeply in your heart that it takes root in your cells and can’t escape. This is the part where you commit, body, blood, and spirit. But beware! Once it’s really in you, your dream is going to rankle you unless you attend to it, so be prepared to water and feed and coddle that thing. Whether it’s finishing school or taking a class in something new, switching to a job you actually like, building a better connection with your family, finally inking that book deal, opening a sushi bar, or changing the world in your own unique way, your dream is going to demand your attention.
My rooted dream forced me to spend long nights and many weekends holed-up in my tiny Tokyo apartment hunched over an early NEC laptop with keys only my fingers could read because they were in kana. I spent hours, days, weeks making up a story because once the dream took hold the alternative–not doing it–felt terrible.
There are very few self-driving dreams. Most require work. So use this time to study or get the skills you need. If you’re working on a creative project, don’t fritter your dream-time staring at YouTube videos of other performers doing what you want to do. Make your own content. Don’t waste your time being jealous, or spend one ounce of energy drooling over other people’s successes. Turn off the distractions and do YOUR thing.
And never utter these words: I can’t.
Or these: It won’t happen.
And definitely not these: I’m too old. (That’s just offensive.)
You can use your time wisely, whatever age you are.
I’d written over half of my first novel by the time I left Tokyo and headed to Luxembourg to teach English at the American International School. Long summer vacations gave me the chance to keep working on—and improving—my writing. Endlessly. Assiduously. At a fiction workshop in the Netherlands one August, I heard about a low-residency MFA program in Vermont. I emptied my savings account and enrolled. Those were two years of study in which I actually learned to write a novel, instead of just pretending to know. And in the next several years I devoted myself to writing one that ultimately didn’t sell. I was crushed, but life kept rolling. By that time, I had a family and had turned to essay writing and journalism. I sold my memoir, TROVE, three years ago, and while that scratched a deep itch for a book deal, and gave me the satisfaction of telling a true story, the novel dream was still demanding my attention, and I was still watering and feeding it, keeping it alive.
Then came the pandemic, and the quiet. Inside of that loneliness in the summer of 2020, I tapped into what I’d felt all those years ago in my Tokyo apartment. I found the root of my dream and the focus to write again. WEDNESDAYS AT ONE poured out of me in three months. Thirty-three years of writing practice, persistence, heartbreak, recovering from rejection, and belief went into that novel.
And so did something else: my imagination.
And this is the part that I think is key to any creative endeavor. James R. Doty, M.D. explains it brilliantly in Into the Magic Shop, but here’s my quick take.
When I was ready to sell my book, every morning I went into my basement room—surrounded by crystals, the air thick with incense—to start the day with a meditation. I envisioned myself holding my published novel in my hands. I turned the imaginary pages, felt its heft, and pretended to sign books for a long line of people that stood before me clutching their hardcover copies. I even pictured the agent (the one I didn’t yet have) and the editor (the one I didn’t yet have) who would be alongside me on the journey. I saw the three of us strutting through New York City together
Despite the reality that publishing is brutally competitive right now, and agents and editors are burned out, I wasn’t deterred.
Then came the moment.
When I saw that Zibby Owens of Moms Don’t Have Time to Read Books podcast fame, had started an equitable, author-centered publishing house with writers and readers building a community together, I knew I needed to sell my book to her.
Down in my basement every morning, I envisioned exactly how it would go, and then some. I literally mocked up a photo of myself with the Zibby Books label, as if the company had already accepted my novel. I lit a Mom’s Don’t Have Time to Read Books candle during my meditation. And I pictured myself accepting an offer. When I felt ready, I reached out. Then, 33 years, almost to the day that I started writing a novel in Japan, I had a book deal.
My Lord, it would have been sweet to sell my first novel in my late twenties and launch a long career as a novelist. But is that how it would have gone? I don’t know. I really don’t know. And it doesn’t matter. The dream is here, right now, right on time.
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Brava! Cheering for your success and admiring your tenacity in making it your dream come true. The saddest thing is someone who doesn’t have a dream to bring to life. You are an inspiration.
Thank you, Cheryl. Happy dreamy New Year to you and the family!
So happy for you Sandra! I think I posted something similar elsewhere- so hopefully you will see at least one of my messages of congrats!!
& Thx for the inspiration to keep on keeping on…😘
Thanks, Amy! And you must keep going…
So well deserved.
And thank you for the words of inspiration on this, my 58th birthday!!
All the best, Stanley <3
Happy Birthday, Stanley! Dream big this year! It’s yours. <3
You Rock, of course! XO
Thanks Jenn!! xo
Love this! Thank you for sharing. I am, in turn, sharing with my 19 year old aspiring writer for whom (like most of us) these last two years have been both a struggle and a blessing. Keep dreaming and Happy New Year!
Thank you! Tell him to keep on going. He has decades to do this!
Your words are inspiration to a woman that just turned 80! I enjoy everything you write! I will have my “Sunshine Book Group” read it when available. You could come to my house for the discussion! That would be so special I’ll keep in touch! Stay well and Happy New Year!
I would love to come talk to the Sunshine Book Group, Gerry. Already looking forward to it. Happy New Year!
Sandra,
Thank you for sharing your process and progress and dream. So happy for you that you’ve finally reached your dream. Would love to have a signed copy when available!
So never too old on a personal note. Have learned to make quilts during the pandemic. It’s inspiring to go from a picture/pattern to the finished product and learn new techniques on each one. Keeps the brain and the imagination engaged!
Thank you! And YES to a signed copy. This will be another good one for your book group I think. Also, I love hearing about the quilting. Keep making art!
Saw this on FB- loved it- spike volumes to me and for my daughter too. You inspired me to keep going. Thanks
I’m so glad! And thank you for taking the time to tell me. Dream big this year!
…. Fabulous! Thank you for sharing your words of wisdom, and your dreams with us. Can’t wait to read it!
Wishing you a spectacular, adventure filled New Year
✌🏻💖✌🏻
I hope you have a wonderful 2022 as well. Dream Big!
Can’t wait to read your novel!
And, are those Josef Frank curtains I see?
Thank you, Sally! As for the curtains…good design eye, you…Anthropology trying to look like Josef Frank!
That’s a crazy (crazy good) story. Congratulations! And thanks for the inspiration. Happy 2022. Enjoy the victory lap, decades in the making :-)
Thank you, Patty! Happy 2022 to you, too! Here’s to making stories…
Sandra,
You magnificent dream weaver! Congratulations on the publication of your novel, Mondays at One.
Indeed, there is no expiration date on dreams come true!
You have referenced so many dreams come true here! Your dream to have a wonderful marriage, your dream to have a beautiful home, your dream to raise two wonderful children into amazing adults. You have nurtured and supported the dreams of many other people too, including me. Just to name a few, you have helped create community art centers, launched many many students with more confidence and skill, helped people heal and find love. You have a lot of street cred’ when it comes to dreaming big and making it happen!
Blessed are the dreamers! Here again you are instilling us with faith to open again, to go deep, be resourceful and dream big.
Celebrating it all with you!!!!!!!!
Here is to a world where we weave our dreams into the highest and best for ourselves and each other ❤️ 🌎 ✨
Happy New Year dreamers!
Maggie Leary
What can I say but thank you for your love, insights, and friendship. And, yes, let’s dream a wonderful 2022 into place.
Sandra, love it! Very well said!
Btw…I had to zoom on the photo to see the sage burning! Wasn’t sure what it was at first :-)
Thanks, Chris! Burning sage indeed. I’ll send some smoke your way, in case you have something to clear in the New Year! Hope it’s a good one for you.
Well deserved recognition for all your hard work. Talent cannot be denied (but it can be neglected, ignored, distracted, side-tracked, and/or unrecognized), so perseverance is the real super power! I’m glad your Magic Bus has finally arrived, with you in the driver’s seat!
“Thank you, driver, for getting me here (Too much, Magic Bus)
You’ll be an inspector, have no fear (Too much, Magic Bus)
I don’t want to cause no fuss (Too much, Magic Bus)
But can I buy your Magic Bus? (Too much, Magic Bus)…”
Thank you for all of this, Scott, but especially for the ear worm…(Too much, Magic Bus).